Is your sex life flowing passionately and effortlessly?

by Chrystal Bougon on October 5, 2010


Better Sex Radio: Wednesday Oct. 6th 11:00 a.m. Pacific  Have you ever received any coaching or training about how to have a healthy relationship? I didn’t think so.

I am excited to welcome Sonika Tinker, MSW,  from to Bliss-Radio this week. Sonika and her husband have created a very cutting edge “Relationship Training” Company called Love Works for You and they coach couples to dramatically improve their relationships, improve their communications and how to get in touch with exactly what it is you want from your relationship. This is going to be juicy!

From Sonika’s pre-interview: “My husband and I were hanging out one day reading “Dear Lover”, a book by author David Deida out loud. A sentence caught our eye that resonated with a pattern we have seen in our own clients.  

“Un-surrendered women attract un-present men”.

We heard the truth in this the moment we read it.

The world is full of powerful women who are looking for a strong man to “meet” them. But men seem to so often fall short. For many years now, we have been hearing from women who are frustrated with their men. Their men are not present and adoring. They seem distant and pre-occupied. Unavailable emotionally, shut down and backed off in their full self expression. Women just don’t “feel” the strong presence of their men enough to feel satisfied, loved and surrendered.

Single women just can’t find a man who is a match for their power.

There are many reasons for this pattern. One reason is that men don’t know what women really want. We believe if men knew what women really wanted, they might be more inclined and adept at providing what is desired.

There is another reason. Men have been in general disempowered and de-masculated by women and are therefore afraid to really own their masculine force and be men with us women. They don’t think they can win with us, don’t trust us, and so hold back. We contribute to their experience of feeling inadequate as men with our mixed messages to them, our criticism and dissatisfaction, and our incessant desire for more.

In short, our demands for presence, call for more lack of presence.

There is another way. When we soften into our feminine essence and move to appreciate and celebrate men, they find their place as men with us. When we let them know we trust them to hold and protect us, and we go on to demonstrate that trust with our own surrender, men are called into presence and power and love like we have never known.

We are hoping that by educating men about women, and women about men, that men will be empowered to express the best of their masculinity and women will be empowered to express the best of their femininity. And both sexes will feel more satisfied in their relating with one another.”

Join us this Wednesday for more conversation on this fascinating topic!  You can also join in the dialogue on our fan page on Facebook:


{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Ancientstonesmineralmakeup October 17, 2010 at 6:51 am

I love it, educating women about men and men about women. This can only result in more well rounded relationships. What a great question – is you sex life flowing passionately and effortlessly? Is your response yes to all or yes to only half of the question? Hmmm, very interesting. I love articles like this one because they make you stop and think. Great job…

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