Someone asked me once if I’ve ever had bad sex. And, the answer to that is YES – but I work really hard to make sure that does not happen very often. I take my own experience into my own hands and I take ownership of the encounter. I mean, it does take two, right. (Well, you can do it alone, too.) Here is a blog we wrote called 4 Great Reasons for More Foreplay for Women
But, sure, I have had boring or dull sex. (Although once I turned 30, I gave up that whole faking thing. What a waste of energy and you totally reward your lover for bad behavior.) STOP DOING THAT. And, every time you have sex it can’t necessarily be mind blowing fireworks, eyes rolling in the back of your head, legs quivering orgasmic. But, I am TYPE A and I am an over achiever so I like to give it my best effort every time. (One of my websites is www.StopFakingItJustHaveOne.com )
Foreplay is required for GREAT SEX. Many would argue that GOOD SEX requires foreplay, as well. Then you get into mediocre land and that is not where I want to be when it comes to my sex life. (Just like a quicky can only really be enjoyable and fully appreciated when they are punctuated by frequent “longies.”)
So why does foreplay get skipped over so often when most of us want to have GREAT SEX every time we have a sexual tryst. It truly is required for GOOD or GREAT SEX. My guess is we skip foreplay out of laziness. We skip foreplay when we start to take our partners for granted. We skip foreplay when we are tired. We skip foreplay when we do not have a lot of time. I get it. Life happens and we all have to compromise on occasion. BOOOO! I don’t like this at all; but I realize this is life.
What is foreplay? According to the Merriam Webster dictionary it is “erotic stimulation preceding sexual intercourse.” So, by their definition it means anything that precedes sex can be considered foreplay and I totally agree with that! So, if you are feeling a little bit lazy about the foreplay you give or receive, here are some ideas to SPICE things up in your boudoir:
1. Sexting / Texting – It does not have to be naughty. But, suggestive or complimentary is great. Some of us enjoy the naughty texts or the naughty pics, but that is not for everyone. Sexting as Foreplay Blog from 2010
2. Phone – Give good phone. Just like texting, it can just be suggestive or complimentary. (Ask a woman how her day was and the listen to her – I promise you it will turn her on.)
3. Take a bath together. Soap each other’s backs in the shower. Good, sensual back leads to hot, yummy front!
4. Trade massages. Massage can be 5 or 10 minutes of 45 minutes. The cool thing about massage is that it tends to get everyone focused and in the moment. It is always a turn on to have your lovers undivided attention.
5. Spoon in your bed and watch an adult movie or an adult instructional dvd. It’s fun to watch together in this position because it can make the female partner feel more safe when watching SEX OLYMPIANS (porn stars). Some women feel intimidated by porn, so this is a cool way to watch together and talk quietly while taking it all in.
6. Sit together on the couch when you are watching t.v. and wrap your feet or legs around each other. (Great if you have kids.) It’s a very intimate thing to do and it won’t gross out your kids. Plus, you can turn it into your “signal” that you are in the mood tonight. Wrapping your legs or feet around each other gives you that skin on skin which makes everyone tingle.
I’m sure you have some other great ideas for some fun foreplay ideas. Share here!
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