YES! They do buy porn and so do lots of other “regular” women!
Loved Oprah’s episode today about Porn. And, even better was Violet Blue’s defintion of PORN versus Erotica. What Oprah’s episode made very clear is what I have been saying for almost 7 years; pretty much all women enjoy adult movies. Well, not all women, but women from ALL kinds of walks of life. And, most people assume that women only want to buy “story” line porn or “porn with a plot.” Personally, I do not want to watch adult film starts talk or act. They have a skill set and it’s NOT acting. If they could act, they would be in mainstream movies and not making an adult film getting paid $1,500 per scene. (Link to Kama Sutra DVD here.)
Ok, let me back up. Let me tell you who I am. For starters, I am a “regualr” woman. I worked in the corporate world for 15 years and more specifically I worked in high tech in Silicon Valley for 15 years. My last job in high tech was working for a company called Nielsen//NetRatings. I got laid off during the DOT COM bomb in September 2002 and quickly after that, I launched a business selling sex toys at home parties and online.
So, maybe what I should say is that I use to be a “regular” woman. I realize that selling sex toys, being a sex expert and hosting an award winning radio show called “Everyone Wants to Have Better Sex” certainly is not typical or “regular.”
I have personally facilitated over 1,000 home pleasure parties and have talked to over 10,000 women PRIVATELY about what it is they really want from sex. And, at our home Bliss Pleasure Parties, we set up a store in our customer’s homes which gives us an opportunity to talk PRIVATELY with each or our customers guests about what they want and need.
We bring PORN to our home parties. And, when I say PORN, I mean PORN PORN. Porn that most people assume are made for men to buy. It’s probably because it’s so private and so inexpensive, but we bring a selection of about 10 hard core dvd’s with us to each party and our customers get to browse the selection privately in the bedroom or office of our customer and we tell them to grab which ever title they want. We don’t even have to know the name of the movie they bought – we hand them a bag and tell them to drop the title they want into the bag. We take all of the embarassment and shame out of buying DVD’s. (If they want to buy JUGGS XIV or MasturbASIAN, it’s all good. We make no judgements!)
I also use to own a very POLITE adult store for two and a half years (from 2004 – 2006) and 58% of our customers were women. We had a very small porn selection and we would sell about 10 DVD’s a day. By far, our best selling adult movies were the hard core porn (not the porn with a plot). And, about 85% of our daily DVD sales were to women. Maybe we sold so much porn to women because we made it safe and we actually helped our customers pick out the right movie for what they are looking for. No sure. But honestly, every kind of woman bought our adult movies.
We had black women, white women, Asian women, old women, young women, married women, single women, women with kids in the car waiting while they shopped, Mom’s who just dropped their kids off for school and stopped by our store on their way home, women in new relationships, women married to the same person for a hundred years, and we sometimes even had couples come it to buy adult movies.
We all know that adult film stars are sexual athletes and for some people, it can be a bit intimidating watch adult movies. Some people feel that porn is demeaning to women and can damage a relationship. I think that can be true – especially if someone is OVER-using adult movies. But, in life, moderation is the key to everything and that counts for porn, too.
I would like to propose that women and men can actually learn how to be a better lover watching adult movies. (And, there are some fantastic adult movies out there from Tristan Taromino and BetterSex.com that are instructional which I would describe as very explicit, but not erotic.) I should caveat that comment that porn can teach us to be better lovers by saying to our male readers and our male customers, remember us “regular girls” cannot do all of the crazy extreme things we sometimes see women doing in adult movies. So, guys, if you watch a lot of adult movies (and we know you do) , you may need to adjust your expectations around things like recieving oral sex and all elements of anal sex. But, an adult movie here and there can inspire you, teach you something new, expose you to erotica, toys, positions, fetishes, sex furniture, g-spot orgasms, ejaculatory control, female ejactulation and so much more.
Give yourself permission to BUY and ENJOY an adult movie on occasion if you have not already. If Oprah can talk about it on day time t.v. you can walk with your head held high into your neighborhood adult store or your corner liquor store and buy one with pride. I promise you, when Oprah has Jenna Jameson and Violet Blue on her show – that is a sign to you that YES, Soccer Moms buy porn, too.
For more tips on which porn to buy for you, check out Violet’s “Smart Porn” link here on her website: http://www.tinynibbles.com/smartporn
We do have a small selection of adult films on our own website, but I am sure you can find a much bigger selection online from some of the bigger adult sites, but here is a link to some of our adult movies. You will find “Porn with a Plot” on our site ad some instructional dvd’s, too: http://www.blissconnection.com/shop.cfm/Adult-DVD%27s-%26-Books/Instructional-DVD%27s/
Blissfully,
Sex Expert, Sex Toy Expert Chrystal Bougon
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks Chrystal! Great info.
Thank you, Cassandra. It’s a touchy subject, but when Oprah covers it – well that’s just awesome
in my book. I am so thrilled she is spending so much time educating people about things
related to sexuality.