To Kegel or not to Kegel? How to Kegel Correctly.

by Chrystal Bougon on August 27, 2009

“Imagine picking up a marble with your vagina” is how Woman’s World magazine describes the PROPER way to do your kegels.

Ben Wa Balls from Bliss

Ben Wa Balls from Bliss

Here is the definition of a Kegel from the Mayo Clinic website:  “Kegel (KAY-gul or KEY-gul) exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which support the uterus, bladder and bowel. If you do Kegel exercises regularly and keep your pelvic floor muscles toned, you may reduce your risk of incontinence and similar problems as you get older. Kegel exercises can also help you control urinary incontinence. ”

There is so much misinformation about kegels. Some women think they should do their kegels while sitting down to urinate. Some women think that they should not ever do kegels because they have heard they are bad for them. Other women just have no idea how to isolate that set of muscles and cannot figure out how to do their kegels.

At our home pleasure parties, I coach the women in attendance to think of their kegel or PC muscles as a CIRCLE 8. One circle of the “8” goes around the vaginal opening and the other part of the “8” goes around the anus. (We call the anus the “culo” at our home parties. Something about the “a” word is just so un-sexy. Culo sounds much sexier!)

There are many reasons to do your kegels. If you don’t believe me, check out what the Mayo Clinic has to say about your kegels. The better toned your PC muscle is (that is your kegel muscles) the better your orgasm! If that is not reason enough to do 10 kegels a day, I don’t know what else to tell you. But, it can help with incontinence and it can help women who have difficulty having orgasms to have one a little more easily.

Many women will buy the BEN WA balls at our Pleasure Parties in the Bay Area because they think they are SUPPOSED to buy them and use them. I am happy to sell them to anyone that wants  a pair of Ben Wa Balls, but honestly, you do not need them to do your kegels.  You can do them without any tools or implements.

If you are new to kegels, you can practice doing them using the finger technique. The finger technique basically requires you to insert a finger into your vagina and practice “hugging” your fingers with your vagina. Or, think of it as “picking up a marble with your vagina” as Woman’s World suggests.  (I find that imagery too funny. Images of “entertainers” in Tijuana and in bad “B” movies flash through my mind whenever I type those words. LOL.)

Some women HAVE to have the BEN WA balls as they just need something small inside of their vagina to isolate that muscle set. And, for those of you who need that, the brass weighted ben wa balls are probably your best bet.

Ok, back to the serious stuff. Here are some tips directly from the Mayo Clinic’s website about how to perfect your KEGEL workout. Since the Mayo Clinic is such a trusted resource and provider of information, I just don’t think I can say it any better or more succintly:

Perfect your technique from the MAYO CLINIC website: (Here is their article link.)
Once you’ve identified your pelvic floor muscles, empty your bladder and sit or lie down. Then:

  • Contract your pelvic floor muscles.
  • Hold the contraction for three seconds then relax for three seconds.
  • Repeat 10 times.
  • Once you’ve perfected three-second muscle contractions, try it for four seconds at a time, alternating muscle contractions with a four-second rest period.
  • Work up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time, relaxing for 10 seconds between contractions.

To get the maximum benefit, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles or isolating your pelvic floor muscles. Be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen, thighs or buttocks. Also, try not to hold your breath. Just relax, breathe freely and focus on tightening the muscles around your vagina and rectum.  (Thank you to the MAYO Clinic for providing such fabulous information and for really getting into the exact details of how to do this exercise well!) 

If you want to browse our very TASTEFUL online romance store and order some Ben Wa balls you can do that, but as I mentioned above they are really not necessary.  AND, ladies, the vagina is a cul de sac. What goes in must come back out. You cannot LOSE your ben wa balls inside of your vagina. They are weighted and will eventually come back out if you push them way up in there. I PROMISE. They cannot get past your cervix! Don’t believe me, GOOGLE vagina and you can see the diagram we have all grown up looking at in the School Nurses office or in the office of our GYNO.

One more thing… did you know that it use to be common for women to pass down Ben Wa balls from Mom to Daughter to her Daughter and so on and so on…… they were like famiy heirlooms. Of course, since they are normally either glass or brass, you can sanitize them pretty easily.

Author:  Chrystal Bougon,  Sex Expert 

Tune in to our Better Sex Radio show: every Wednesday morning at 11 a.m. PDT


{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

JOY a.k.a. Joy of Romance August 31, 2009 at 8:17 am

This was a clearly written article on a subject many women will benefit from, especially those who may have thought kegel exercises weren’t something this easy to do. Thanks for continuing to educate the women of the world on better sex!

Much appreciation and delight,

Joy of Romance, Inc.

Chrystal Bougon September 1, 2009 at 12:34 am

Thank you, Joy. Kegel kegel kegel kegel kegel kegel kegel kegel…. ok, I am good until tomorrow.

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