Sex toys are an appetizer, your partner is the entree!

by Chrystal Bougon on November 8, 2009

I wish I had a dime for every time I have heard the words “what if he is intimidated or I hurt his feelings when I bring home this sex toy?” This topic comes up all of the time at our in home sex toy parties.
However, most men these days seem to embrace the toys and the really SAVVY men know that they only make their jobs easier! Integrating a quiet vibrator into your lovemaking can make MOMMA EXTRA HAPPY …….. and we all know the old addage about when MOMMA ain’t happy.  As I love to say, “really savvy men know that sex toys do all of the heavy lifting for them.”  And, speaking from personal experience, nothing can replace a living, breathing, warm, good smelling man. (I should use the word “partner” for those of you in same sex relationships.)

But, even in 2009 I still get one or two women per party who ask me that question once we get behind the closed door in the ordering room. In some cases, I think it’s more about the woman and that she is too afraid to communicate with her lover that she is ready to enhance their bedroom fun. And sadly, in some cases, it’s true that their male partner really does not like the idea of a toy. (Men are worried they will be replaced, or the toy will be bigger then them, or they will not be needed any longer.)

It turns out that some unenlightened men see a vibrator or a dildo as a replacement. But, like my title says TOYS ARE JUST AN APPETIZER. They are only designed to get us warmed up and as we all know, women typically need more warm up then men. Our partner is our entree’! Rarely will an appetizer really satisfy us. Sometimes an appetito is plenty, but sometimes the appetizer just builds the anticipation for the main course. (Anticipation….. ahhhh…… we all love anticipation, don’t we.)
So, back to my point to the guys. If your girl takes 20 minutes, why not bring something like a SLENDER SENSATIONS or a SILVER BULLET into your foreplay repetoir. Use the soft vibration on her nipples, on her neck and back, move it around slowly on her lower tummy or try using a little more pressure with it on her pelvic bone. Don’t just plunge right in. Take the toy and tease her a bit with it to get her warmed up. If you take the time to help the blood flow increase to her pelvic region, what you will find is a woman who is HIGHLY responsive and who will have an orgasm more easily.

Make sure she is warmed up and lubricated before you allow it to touch her clitoris. If she is not lubricating on her own, do not take that as a personal affront to your skills. Sometimes it’s hormonal and sometimes it’s just how we are wired. (Click here for our #1 selling Eros Silicone Lubricant that is super female friendly and with no flavor, no scent, and no preservatives.)  And read our blog about the 6 Things That Can Make It Difficult for Women To Climax. Crazy things like too much Starbucks, allergy meds and lack of sleep make it difficult for us to lubricate and orgasm.

Men should really EMBRACE toys as they do all of the heavy lifting for you. If you have difficulty giving your partner an orgasm orally, incorporate a soft quiet toy like the FINGER FUN into your oral lovemaking. Using it in conjunction with your tongue and fingers can give her that little extra vibration that she needs to give her an orgasm from oral. Just think how much less work your tongue has to do. This toy is soft, waterproof and quiet. It’s small enough that it won’t get in the way and is subtle enough it won’t be TOO strong for her.

When I do the co-ed Pleasure Parties I love to coach the men to make sure they take care of their female partner first. Give her an orgasm before you even have any penetration at all. Use your fingers, your mouth, a toy or whatever you have to let her have one first. If you want to see your wife or girlfriend’s LUSTY VIXEN come out for a little while – give her an orgasm, then have intercourse, and then give her another orgasm after. You may see a side of your partner you have never seen before. Women can be extra ravenous and aggressive after their first orgasm and will be begging you for intercourse after that!

Would love to hear your comments on this subject. Have questions about which sex toy is right for you and your partner, give me a call at 408-826-9087. I am a Sex Toy & Sex Expert and would love to help you find the right toy for your situation. No obligation to buy anything. You can even buy it from my compeition. I would just love to help you find the right toy to ELEVATE your sex life.

Feel free to browse our online store at and see if that inspires you. Or join our Facebook Fan Page at

Blissfully, Chrystal Tel 408-826-9087


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