You may be surprised by some of the things that can make it difficult for women to climax. Did you know too much caffiene can affect your ability to climax? Read more below:
1. Stress: This is a no brainer. Women have more difficulty getting in the moment generally speaking. That is especially true when we are stressed. Men tend to be better at compartmentalizing their stress and issues at work or at home. Women have a hard time turning it all off and making time for FUN or for some intimacy when we’re stressed. So, when we are super stressed, we can try and try but what normally works to help us climax may not work when we are over stressed. The kicker here is that an orgasm is a FAB stress reliever. (This is a good time to bust out your Silver Bullet vibe and incorporate it into your masturbation session or partner play.)
2. Lack of Sleep: I hear it all of the time from women at our home parties… women would rather sleep an extra 10 or 15 minutes then make time for sex. I believe that is partially because when we are SUPER tired, we have more trouble orgasming. This is where I like to coach women and couples to make time in the morning before their kids wake up or before their alarm clock goes off. When women have had 6 to 8 hours of rest, we are more responsive and lubricate more easily and orgasm more easily. When we have had some rest, our hormone levels are higher which makes it easier for us to be turned on, lubricate and orgasm. (Or even try getting “busy” in the middle of the night when you are both sort of in that lucid state, very relaxed, it’s very dark and you are all cozy and under the covers.)
3. Antihistamines (Allergy Meds): Allergy medications dry out EVERYTHING. They work well by drying out your nose and other mucus membranes. Most women don’t put their vaginal dryness issues together with the fact that they take allergy meds. You can be SUPER turned on and still be very dry vaginally if you take medication for yoru hay fever or other allergies. Just keep the EROS or other lube bottle nearby during those months when you take your allergy meds and you are back in business!
4. Anti-Depressants: Don’t despair if you are finding your sex drive and your ability to orgasm diminishes a bit when you take anti-depressants. There is hope! Many people find that a clitoral toy is just the trick. As you probably know if you take meds for depression or other mental health challenges – they screw up your pleasure center in your brain which is why it’s harder to climax. But, the research that does exist out there (it’s minimal currently) suggests if you are tenacious with the DIRECT clitoral stimulation, you will be able to climax. It just may take a little more time then it took before you started taking the meds.
This is an interesting article about Meds and Orgasms from the Kinsey Confidential. This is another good time to consider using a clitoral stimulator when you are masturbating of playing with a partner. Start off with something small like the Silver Bullet or the Slender Sensations as they are SMALL, discreet and easy to use on your clitoris even during partner sex. Be sure your batteries are fresh or charged and see if this does the trick!
5. Too Much Caffiene: Who knew, right? Like the meds we discussed above, too much caffiene has some affects on the pleasure center as well. It also keeps us from staying focused on our orgasm and can make it difficult to relax. So, be mindful how much you are drinking and see if maybe any difficutly you have orgasming might be related to your intake of coffee, tea or soda.
6. Too Much Alcohol: Too much alcohol is famously responsible for what people call “whiskey dick” for men. However, the same problem can happen for women, too. We just don’t have the obvious physical symptoms men have since our erection is not so obvious. Too many glasses of wine or too much alcohol of any kind can make it really difficult for women to finish their orgasm. We can get very close to it, but not quite have it completely. It can be fun to have a few drinks and have some fabulously saucy and sassy sex with our partner, but often times, the orgasm will have to wait until you have both slept if off a bit and wake up to have some awesome “morning sex.”
We would love to hear your input. Do you have any ideas or “tricks” for how we can overcome some of these difficulties? By now, you probabaly know I am a big fan of STOP FAKING IT and JUST HAVE ONE!
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