Do you give more oral sex then you receive?

by Chrystal Bougon on August 9, 2011


Oral Sex – the more you give, the more you get, right?

Well, in a perfect world that is how I think it should be. You give your lover oral sex, then your lover makes a mental note (if they do not reciprocate right at that very moment) that they owe you one. And next time you two play, it’s your turn to receive oral sex. Without feeling like it’s necessary to give back… unless that’s just what you like to do. (I know MANY MANY women who give b.j.’s because it really turns them on. But even those women want to receive oral sex, too.  One would think those lucky men who have a partner who loves to give B.J.’s would do EVERYTHING in their power to encourage her sweet b.j. behavior. 🙂

Why doesn’t it work that way in so many relationships? I am sure my data is skewed because most of my research happens at our Bliss Pleasure Parties – which means I mostly hear from women. But,  I hear from women constantly that they have stopped giving their partners oral sex because the “score” is so out of balance. They feel like they give 10 b.j.’s or more to the 1 time they receive. Please tell me that this is not the case all over America, Bliss fans.

In my perfect Bliss bedroom wishes for all of you is the kind of love making where both partnesr feel equally taken care of emotionally and physically. I tend to coach women and men that a good rule of thumb is “Her, Him and then Her again.”  If “he” takes good care of her orally or in the way she enjoys her foreplay, it pays off for him 10 fold when she is super turned on. Giving her lots of pleasure orally, aurally or with your hands and fingers will turn her into a super lusty lover. Then, that makes “his” experience that much more memorable.

Now, I know I cannot discount the fact that many women have some discomfort receiving oral sex. They often have trouble “recieving” anything sexually because women tend to be givers or pleasers. (Not all, but certainly a large percentage. And women have all of these issues in their brains about how their vulva looks. We worry about how our vagina tasts and smells, too. I rarely hear men talking about how they don’t want to recieve a blow job because they did not get to trim the weeds that day.

What do you think? How can we end this oral sex disparity that I hear so much about? Are things pretty even in your bedroom?



{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Supergeek-x January 5, 2012 at 1:00 am

Totally agree!
I give b.j’s all the time. I think my boyfriend owes me 6x’s going down on me now!!  I love giving b.j’s – he hasn’t asked for one in a while, i’ve just done it and as you said ‘would do EVERYTHING in their power to encourage her sweet b.j. behavior’ thats me! But as i shave theres only 2 days i let him go down on my because i am soft or else it would feel like he’s rubbing his face on a mans face a few days after he’s shaved – not nice!!  
I’ve ordered a sex toy and when it arrives i’m so excited because maybe he will go down on me a bit more as he’s got a helping hand, or bullet 😉
Although sometimes when he goes down on me it tickles or it’s just REALLY not working for me that he has to stop.
Also 69ing doesn’t work for me as i get self conscious and i we both get distracted from each other doing stuff so we stop on each other!
You’ve heard of those girls who cried after sex, yeah ..  i once cried after he went down on me – best orgasm EVER! 
Its our two year anniversary next weekend so thats going to be amazing <3

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