Masturbation and Women: Why don’t women talk about it?

by Chrystal Bougon on December 22, 2009

Every PG, PG-13 or R rated movie I watch, practically every t.v. program that is on at 9pm or later on network t.v. talks about it…and songs and books are dedicated to it – MALE masturbation. So why don’t women talk about female masturbation? Even after talking to well over 10,000 women about sex toys and everything you can think of around the SEX topic – it’s still rarely discussed and women almost never admit to doing it. WHY IS THAT?

One thing I know to be true is that women RARELY make time for themselves to just PLEASURE themselves.  For obvious reasons (we are innies, boys are outties) it is a little more effort for us to masturbate. It’s not quite as easy for women to masturbate in the shower before work or real quick before we hop out of bed in the morning like some men like to do.  Most of us need some warm up, too.  But, still, why is it so taboo for women to admit they masturbate? How come there are no cute jokes and funny euphemisms like men have? You don’t hear women talking about “rubbing one out” , “rosy palm” , “sex with someone you really love” , “spanking the monkey” or “choking the chicken.” But, men talk about it a lot! And, most importantly, with NO SHAME.

There are two songs that come to mind about female masturbation. “She Bop” by Cyndi Lauper and “I Touch Myself” by the Divinyls. Both very OBVIOUS songs (though I had no idea back in the 80’s when Cyndi Lauper’s song first came out what “She Bop” meant) that sing about it in a pretty positive way. You know, Cyndi believes, like me that “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” and “there ain’t no law against it yet.”  But, for some reason, it just has not entered into our “girl” lexicon. Guilt? shame? Or is it that we do it so much less often? (You can see the lyrics to “She Bop” here.)

I know for some people this will sound like a major rationalization, but a woman’s clitoris has only ONE function and that is to give us pleasure. The clit solely exists to give us an orgasm. It has no other purpose. Just the one important FUNCTION. Nothing else! So why all the embarassment? I mean, seriously, the penis has several functions and men don’t seem to have any embarassment about using it for masturbation purposes.

You are going to see me talking about this a lot in the next few months. Stay tuned for more information on this subject as I have a special new MISSION, sort of like my mission, to get women masturbating and talking about it. More on that soon! I want to work to elevate the concept of masturbation and help women to let go of the stigma that goes along with self pleasure.

In the meantime, if you need a special “tool” for masturbation, be sure to check out our very tasteful online romance store at At our home pleasure parties, we call the SEX TOYS “power tools!”  We are a big fan of the 5 Speed Bullet, the Silver Bullet, the Mystic Wand and the Hitachi Wand for ALONE TIME. These toys are all perfect for SELF PLEASURE. They all are pretty much guaranteed clitoral orgasm.

You can also join our Facebook Fan Page at and you can join our RSS Feed here on our blog  Enjoy!


{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Catherine Toyooka December 22, 2009 at 11:04 am

I will NEVER understand why there is such a deep taboo over female masturbation.
It is the best way for a woman to become acutely aware of her own sexual response cycle, thereby making her a much better communicator when it comes to the sex she is having.
I challenge all women to take matters into their own hands and really explore what gets them off 🙂
I have tons to say on all things related to flirting, dating, and (of course!) sex…check out my website at for much more info.

Chrystal Bougon December 22, 2009 at 11:48 am

Agreed! The better you get at giving yourself an orgasm, the easier it will be to have one with a partner! Thanks so much for the comment, Catherine. I hope my customers will check out your website and use your services! We adore Catherine Coaches!

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: