Pleasure Parties are NOT scary. I promise.

by Chrystal Bougon on June 2, 2010

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 Not everyone is comfortable talking about sex.

I get that. I wasn’t always comfortable talking about it either. It took me until I was about 30 years old before I could even use any SLANG or crude words for the word “vagina.”  (Now that I am 42, I know atleast 40 ways to say vagina.)

I sometimes forget that some women (and men) are not comfortable talking about sex.  (Especially in public or at a party.) And, I have to be reminded on occasion that when women are invited to a Pleasure Party, to them it is like TORTURE to attend. Or, worse yet, they decline the invitation because the whole thought of getting together with their girlfriends for some wine and a frank discussion about sex toys and lubricants with a total stranger (like me) gives them the creeps!

I was reminded of this concept today on my radio show interview with Nina Hartley when she reminded me of just that. She reminded me that I need to acknowledge and appreciate the women that do show up to our Bliss Pleasure Parties. And, she is right, I need to THANK THEM for coming and honor that it may have been a really difficult decision for them to show up.  I do my best to make sure no one is embarassed or uncomfortable. But, the fact is, that we all have different points of reference when it comes to sex.

I don’t think our Bliss Pleasure Parties are scary at all, but of course I wouldn’t! So, I am bringing a renewed sense of grace, tolerance and appreciation for the women who are a little nervous and anxious – but they show up anyway. THANK YOU if that is you.

If  you would like more information about our Bliss Pleasure Parties, call us at 408-826-9087 or you  can even read our Pleasure Party reviews on Yelp.com here: 

http://www.yelp.com/biz/pleasure-parties-by-bliss-parties-san-jose

BOOK YOUR BLISS PARTY ONLINE HERE:
http://blissparty.genbook.com

Connect with us on Facebook: http://www.Facebook.com/BlissConnection

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  • I’ve been interested in working with Pleasure Parties, but kinda been on the fence about it. Thanks for this post… it makes me feel so much more excited! xo.

  • Thanks for the comment, Arabella. I think it would be a fab compliment to your business.

  • Stephanie

    I will have to say I am a big prude. I have attended a few of Chrystal’s parties and they are classy. She really guages her parties off of her audience and how comfortable they are. I truly appreciate your class with this subject! I highly recommend Bliss Pleasure Parties!

  • Thank you Dr. Steph, for saying that. I really appreciate your input and the compliment, too.

  • I agree the thought of a Pleasure Party can be intimidating to some, but what makes all the difference in the world is how Chrystal personally manages them. With a casual attitude that’s full of smiles and laughter, she has a wonderful way of putting women at ease – even when it comes to taking about vaginas! Thanks for all you do Chrystal to help women let their hair down and feel comfortable with the topic of sex and toys.

  • Jewels

    So true about some ladies being nervous and maybe a little scared!

    Since we have worked together in business and many fundraisers, I have seen you and your team during many Bliss Pleasure Parties. You always show grace, tolerance and appreciation to the ladies that are attending the party, with gentle reminders, that yes, they will be talking about sex.
    Also, having a private sex toy store brought to their house gives the girls a chance to shop and ask questions they might not ever ask in public!

  • Oh I loved your Pleasure Party! I’m a little timid {okay maybe a lot timid :~} in this area and you made me feel so comfortable. You really do make it okay to be a sexy woman with class. Thank you!

  • Thank you, Cassandra! It IS ok to be SEXY, SMART and you can be both of those and classy and elegant at the same time.

  • Hey Chrystal. I haven’t actually been to one of your now-legendary parties, but from everyone I’ve talked to whose gone to one, I hear they’re awesome, friendly, open and I like the way you and your other party hostesses “take the temperature of the room” and plan the party accordingly. I’m sure no one else in your industry does that!

  • Suzanne

    Hi Chrystal. It’s great that you bring this up. There are SO many perspectives on every topic… perhaps even more on sex! To be with women where they’re at and honor that it may have taken serious courage for some to even walk through the door at a Bliss Pleasure Party, is key. Kudos to you for making women feel at ease at your parties… for “taking the temperature of the room” as mentioned in the last post… for encouraging the women at your parties to move at their own pace while educating and inviting them to explore. And for those who feel it might be scary, know that it’s actually a fun, informative and easy-going evening.

  • I’ve never been to a Bliss party but have been to similar parties run by other companies in the UK, Australia and here. They are fun parties and where else would I buy my toys – I certainly would rather buy them in a living room 🙂

  • Seeing as how we know a lot of the same people, I have been to several of Chrystal’s parties. I always have a fun time and manage to learn something new. Chrystal conducts her pleasure parties in such a comfortable, professional way. Because of this, I would think that almost everyone could be comfortable at one of her parties.

  • Hey Chrystal! I think you brought out a great point from Nina — that it takes courage to join up in an event, meeting or activity that discusses sex or sex-related topics. When you can discuss it, I think it makes us more open to learning and improving our intimacy with others, rather than shunning the topic simply because it seems a very ‘taboo’ subject in society still.

  • This is definitely uncharted territory for me! It is nice to read all the great and positive comments about what you do; I guess I am way too much of a conservative, extremely private woman, but maybe I am missing out!

  • Thanks, Louise. There are tons of companies all over the world that do pleasure parties. I created Bliss in April 2003. I wanted to be able to do very
    tasteful, sassy parties where my customers could get their education and their toys all of the same night. Thanks for the comment.

  • Hey Donna. Thanks for the comment. Our parties are not for everyone, but when I created this company in 2003 I designed it for women who
    were just NORMAL mature women like me who wanted additional information about romance products. They are not scary at all, but I can
    understand how it is a bit shocking and scary for some women. I try hard to always keep that in mind. Thanks again.

  • I am doing my best to help chip awa at that, Lee. Thanks for the comment.

  • It’s always good to reassure people about the subject of your business. Educating is part of our jobs at solopreneurs. So you go Chrystal and yes…I agree, sex is a fabulous part of life and worthy of discussing.

  • I’ve been to Chrystal’s parties on a few occasions, and hosted one myself as well. They are an absolute blast, and Chrystal has such a great way about her, that makes the whole topic of sex and sex toys very disarming, since it can be uncomfortable for some. She puts a fun, humorous spin on her presentation, and doesn’t just show her wares, but gives you suggestions on how to use them with your partner, or just on your own! 🙂 No matter how many times I see Chrystal’s presentation, I always come back for more! She definitely takes the “scary” out of pleasure parties!

  • I actually went to several such parties when I was younger, it was fun….now, well not sure I would…but it was an interesting read!

  • Good for you Chrystal! Seems like a much better way to buy some personal joy than going to an impersonal shop. Becoming more aware of our bodies and what makes us happy are things we need to promote. Sex is fun, let’s face it!

  • I have never been to a pleasure party. I think the closest was a lingerie party that had a few accessory’s you dont find at the department store. I enjoyed going and was comfortable with the the way it was presented.

  • Hi Chrystal – well, like Julia, the closest I’ve been to a pleasure party is a lingerie party… actually, a few, now that I think about it, and they were all FUN and hilarious, too. It sounds like the way you handle your presentation and relate to your customers is spot on – you’re putting yourself in their shoes (uh, lingerie?) so you can relate and make them comfortable. It’s an idea of giving, education-based marketing, at the core: the focus on sharing information that is helpful rather than pushing for a sale. A great lesson for any entrepreneur!

  • Chrystal, I am impressed with your ingenuity and creativity in the whole concept of your business. I may be a little sheltered, but I’ve never heard of pleasure parties. Kudos to you for finding this niche. And I agree with Annie that your attitude of trying to address the party-goer’s concerns and also express gratitude is spot-on good marketing. I think this individualized approach will offer a lot of success. And it may turn party-goers into party-givers.

  • Hi Chrystal, it’s good to see this subject shaking up our blog choices! I’ve been to a couple of pleasure parties and we had a blast! It’s a good time for ladies to bond and just let loose.

  • Chrystal 40 ways to say vagina. That could be a post in and of itself. I’m impressed. I still know people that just point.

    Are your parties co-ed? Do you have parties just for guys? Thanks for opening the bedroom door so we can become more comfortable with our sexuality.

  • Absolutely. We love doing co-ed pleasure parties. They are super entertaining. I always learn so much myself at all of my parties, but especially at our co-ed parties.

  • Ha. Yah, I definitely SHAKE IS UP, Chris.

  • I have never been to one of these type of parties but feel comfortable in saying that women like you are saving marriages! FYI women my age & (trust me I am a whole lot older than you) raised Catholic (I hope that says volumes to you) were raised with so many negative messages about sex I’ve needed help loosening 🙂 up on this topic. My husband is VERY happy with me! Kudos to you.

  • Chrystal, knowing you in person makes me appreciate how comfortable you are with yourself and how much you enjoy what you do. I have never been to a pleasure party, but if I was to attend one ( and there is always the possibility ) I would pick one of yours. I think sex is like anything – it is a learned skill, and toys & parties can only add to the pleasure.

  • Pleasure parties sound like a great way for women to open up to their sexuality and ways to express themselves among other gals. As a guy, I’ve never been to one. When you purchase toys do they give you hints on how to share them with your partner? I’m open to the idea of toys, but some guys may feel different about it.

    Ron Hori
    The Face Guy

  • Thanks Ron for your comment. Pleasure parties are a great way for women to open up and express themselves.

  • Loving the blog and all of your great insight and content. Keep up the fantastic work.

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